Hosting a dinner party requires a great deal of planning. In one particular case, a Redditor made the effort to prepare a completely vegan meal to fit a friend’s boyfriend’s dietary restrictions.
But things took a turn when that boyfriend decided to eat a non-vegan dessert. Now the Redditor is asking the “Am I the A**hole” Subreddit community if they were wrong for calling that guest out on what he ate after preparing an entirely separate meal for him.
In the post, which has more than 16,000 votes and 2,000 comments, myredditusername28 wrote that they were cooking a roast dinner and thought it would be a “fun challenge” to prepare another meal that is vegan. They noted that a traditional roast dinner consists of beef, vegetables, Yorkshire pudding and gravy.
“Making a roast is a lot of work, but I didn’t want meat eaters to miss out for one vegan, so I made two completely different dinners,” myredditusername28 explained.
After researching recipes for a vegan version of a roast dinner and purchasing the vegan ingredients, myredditusername28 wrote that they were proud of themselves but felt their friend’s boyfriend overlooked how much work was put into the meal.
When the time for dessert came, myredditusername28 said they prepared a non-vegan and vegan option to be served with coffee.
“The boyfriend asked for a coffee with regular milk as he fancied ‘a treat’…I must have pulled a face, no way that I didn’t and said, ‘OK,'” they wrote. “I’m pissed off at this point, considering the effort I went for respecting his diet requirements.”
When myredditusername28 returned with the coffee, they found the boyfriend was eating the non-vegan dessert, leaving the vegan option for the host. They pointed out that it wasn’t vegan, but the boyfriend said it “doesn’t matter.”
At that point, the Redditor told him that it was rude to ask that his dinner was 100 percent vegan and said he threw the meal back in their face after they went “above and beyond” to prepare a meal for him.
“He laughed and said, ‘Chill, not that big of a deal,'” myredditusername28 wrote.
They said they would apologize to clear the air with their friend if they were wrong, but believe the boyfriend should be the one issuing an apology.
Fellow Redditors flooded the comment section to support myredditusername28.
“So he is only vegan when it benefits him?” one commenter wrote. “And if it doesn’t he will just eat [non-vegan] food? He made you do all the work for nothing + he stole your dessert.”
Another wrote that if the boyfriend is invited to a future dinner, he should not make a comment about whether a meal is vegan or not because “he clearly isn’t a strict vegan.”
A Redditor left a comment that said that the boyfriend shouldn’t be invited back to myredditusername28’s home for a future dinner.
An article published in Taste of Home discussed guest etiquette at dinner parties. It stated that it is not the responsibility of the host to cater only to the needs of the guest with dietary restrictions.
“If they’re thoughtful, they may have prepared at least one dish that fits your requirements, like a salad without cheese for someone who’s lactose-intolerant or a pasta sauce without meat for a vegetarian,” the piece read. “In the rare case that they have not, however, do not get irritated. You are a guest in their home and it is your responsibility to appreciate their hospitality and effort.”
Newsweek reached out to myredditusername28 for further comment.
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